I think the airlines are going potty. As in “loopy.” These days, passengers are being charged extra for everything. (I think airlines should be charged with a few things, like passenger cruelty and first-degree bone-head-ism.)
For those of you who constantly quote scenes from old episodes of Seinfeld it’s time to cue the old “who are the marketing wizards who came up with that one?” You’ve probably heard by now that some airlines have actually managed to think of ways to make flying even less pleasant than it already is. Spirit Air is planning to charge for each piece of carry-on luggage. Irritating. Annoying. But we’ll swallow the latest indignity eventually, I suppose.
But Ireland’s Ryanair is going Spirit one better with plans for an even more unthinkable, uh, revenue stream. Yup. It will soon charge passengers for using rest room facilities on the plane.
There are so many reasons this is a bad idea, I’m sure many are flashing through your head right now. Equally dumbfounding is the question of enforcement: will they station an attendant at each bathroom door to make sure no one holds it open for the next person? ( Ahhh, a long way from the “Fly Me” days, aren’t we?) Are you really going to tell the angry ex-Marine to just go back to his seat and hold it?
I am, however, happy about one thing; I can’t wait to see what Southwest does with this. You’ve seen the spot with baggage handlers baring their bellies painted with “bags fly free” to show up a more mercenary rival. Imagine the possibilities with THIS one! (And imagine Southwest being able to make fun of a rival for being “no frills!”)
In fact, let’s make a contest out of it. What message would you put on your airline’s outdoor board to promote the fact that your lavatories are still free? Send ’em in, or just comment below. I’ll award an inexpensive-but-appropriate prize for the suggestions I deem number one and number two. (Don’t worry – it won’t be one of those things – that’s gross.)